Stories from a Mediocre Cafe

Another Frappucino story

2009-12-07T14:14:00.001-08:00

Me: what can I get started for you?
Lady: strawberries and creme frappucino
Me: would you like a large?
Lady: Nope
...
Me: so would you like a small?
......
Me:do you want whipped cream on top?
Lady: strawberries and creme please

'tis the season

2009-12-03T17:30:00.000-08:00

Yes folks thats right, its that time of year when all the really crazy people crawl out from whatever rock they live under and visit public places. I personally believe that rock is most, if not all of Elkhart county. Anyway, time to start posting crazy people stories again.

So this guy asked what a frappucino was so we told him the flavors in it and said it is comparable to a milk shake. After receiving the drink, he said that it is not what he wanted. He thought it was a hot drink and implied we gave him no warning as to the temperature of the drink. Being the stubborn man that he was, he continued to complain about how the sign fails to decsribe the frappucino as a cold drink, holding people back as I remake his drink in an attempt to move and shut him up. After receiving his new drinks he sat down with his woman and still seemed to be gesturing toward the sign in a heated manner.

About an hour later one of the other baristas, whom was ringing this guy up, decsribed the event to us, as though it happened days ago and we weren't there.

New Ideas

2009-06-24T08:17:00.000-07:00

As of lately, I've been having a hard time observing people in the cafe objectively. I find their presence both annoying and intrusive. Obviously any job would be great without customers but since that will never happen we better make the best of it.

I still have a list of observations from a while ago so we'll begin again with those and hopefully I wont forget to update.

Working Regulars

2009-02-23T02:57:00.000-08:00

Today I'm going to try to properly describe the customers in which come in on an almost daily basis and appear to have work to be doing or just have done, as a general whole. These regulars, as I just stated, appear to have steady jobs of which they are heading to, taking a break from, or leaving from. Most of them dress in business casual and order a wide variety of drinks but usually stick with our coffee and sometimes request our 'bold' as if they could actually tell the difference.

When they come into the cafe they appear to be in a huge hurry, even if they just sit in the back corner on their laptop or sit at a round table chatting. This has been observed on numerous occasions these working regulars walking very quickly into the cafe in order to pass other customers which are moving to slow or do not appear to have made a decision quite yet.

The worst part of these customers is how they expect their drinks so quickly, no matter how many people are in line. If they usually order decaffeinated coffee then they do expect to be asked to wait and have no problems waiting, unless in one instance its ready when they walk up. In that case they continue to expect their drink to be ready for them immediately every time for a couple days.

After getting their beverages of choice, they feel the need to do as they wish. They will make business phone calls and glare at anyone who dares to talk to loudly near them, move tables together and sprawl out their paperwork instead of just sitting at a bigger round table, and even grab the creamer or honey off of the condinment bar like they were at home.

Individuals will vary from the group, of course, but for the most part the group is all the same. Some act kind to my fellow employees and I. Others act bitter when we don't have what they want right away, as if we owe it to them for the money they spend there.

I'll update again tonight with an actual story. I will also take a look at another group of regulars at a later time. Remember to spread the word about my blog to other who you feel may be interested, however if you know who I am or where I work please do not comment about it on this website. I wish for that information to remain as under the table as possible to protect my observees and perhaps even my job.

I'm not at my best today...

2009-02-12T12:35:00.000-08:00

This guy and girl came into the cafe and just stared at the menus. They wispered quietly to each other a couple of times then just walked away. You may be wondering why i found this blog-worthy, so allow me to go on. The guy looked deflated. His face was all slouchy and he had huge hole from where plugs used to be. These were easily 1 inch holes in his ears and his earlobes were very droopy. It was almost as if those plugs were there to hold his body together or the air in, which ever way you wish to believe it

The Continuing Saga of the Bird-Flu Guy

2009-02-08T07:55:00.000-08:00

One fine afternoon he came walking up to the store and noticed a dead bird on the ground. So what is the logical solution? Bird-Flu. He came inside and told one of the barista's that a bird is outside and has obviously died from the Bird-Flu and the building needed to be quarantined and the CDC needed to be called. He even had an idea on how to block off and quarantine the surrounding cities. And that is how he got his name.

Another BFG story kind of continues off the last one in a way. He has Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrom...or so he claims. One evening music was playing over the speakers, as it usually does. He gets up from the chairs in one area of the store and demands that one of the employees change the music immediately. The reason is that he is a veteran of some war and if the song continues he will have flashbacks and kill everyone. Needless to say that employee went straight to a manager and told them to change the music. The important thing is that the song was only a couple years old and for this guy to have a flashback about war which at the very closest would be the Persian Gulf War it would in no way be related to the song.

Apology

2009-02-06T04:10:00.000-08:00

To my faithful following...of at least 2 people which is enough for me...I will begin posting new stories starting this afternoon when i return home from yet another day of work. Just wait my friends, it'll be back to feed your curious minds.

Flying High

2008-11-23T18:46:00.000-08:00

A guy and a girl cam in, stoned out of their mind. The guy stared at a spot on the wall blankly. The girl went on to order a peppermint mocha and made sure we put sprinkles on it. When we went to put sprinkles on it this conversation took place:

Girl: No, I want the red sprinkles
Barista: We don't have red sprinkles
Girl: I just saw you put some on
Barista: No, I put these chocolate sprinkles on it.
*Shows sprinkles container*
Girl: But (insert popular/commercial coffee shop name here) has them
Barista: We're not (name inserted above) we just sell their coffee and drinks.
Girl: So, do you bake your cookies here?
Barista: Yes
Girl: Well, the sugar cookies have red sprinkles so why cant you just put some of those on my drink?
Barista: They're pre-made, just just bake them in the oven
Girl: Oh, so you don't bake your own cookies...can I get more sprinkles?
*Barista adds more chocolate sprinkles and girl walks away*
Girl: Can I PLEASE get more sprinkles?
Barista: You've got 3 layers!
Girl: So I can't have anymore?
Barista: Of course you can.
*Barista adds, again, more sprinkles and the girl walks away*

On her way out, she stopped the manager and told her we were short with her and refusing service. The manager immediately came over and chewed us out reminding us how the cafe must score "Perfectly" in customer service shops, no matter how people treat us.

Bird-Flu Guy

2008-11-12T18:35:00.000-08:00

There is a very interesting person who frequents my cafe. He walks everywhere around town and comes in, ordering an Italian soda and walks the barista making his drink through each step as if they have never made the drink before. Besides being obnoxious, he has many weird characteristics and memorable stories all occurring in the cafe or the bookstore.

Anyway, one night he began describing how to gut a human being to the barista working. He used hand motions and when she began ignoring her, he pulled out a huge knife and used it to show her how to do it. Then he goes on to tell her that he's killed a man before but it was okay because it was self defense.

And that's the first in the long running story of Bird-Flu Guy.

Soy Girl and Sidekick

2008-11-05T08:33:00.000-08:00

So this is how it works, I'll post a short, true story about something I saw or heard at work.

Today's story occured a few days ago and was overheard while I was finishing making someones drink:

Soy Girl: If soy milk isn't organic milk, then what is it?

Sidekick: Soy milk is a milk alternative allowing those who are lactose intolerant to have something that would normally have milk in it. Soy milk is actually made from soy, not cows. Organic milk is from cows not given drugs to make more milk or make them bigger.

Soy Girl: But its called 'soy milk' so obviously it comes from cows and cows are animals so isn't all milk organic?

Sidekick: That's a good point...I don't know...

At this point of the conversation they had walked away.

More stories with other characters to come later.

Welcome

2008-11-03T17:36:00.000-08:00

The stories posted on this blog are all true and were heard while making coffee in a bookstore cafe, exactly like the title states. English teachers around the world are rejoicing. To further explain why I am writing this requires a bit of history about me.

I graduated college with a degree in Anthropology which led me to observe people in the natural environment and question their behavior. As a result I am always listening and observing the people around me. Working as a barista has provided a great opportunity to exercise these skills and, needless to say, servers and baristas are invisible to the customer for most of the transaction allowing even more conversations to be overheard.

I don't know how often I will post stories. They will be true and there will be reoccurring characters so keep up and visit frequently.